


Thoughts

by MusicalCatharsis



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-03
Updated: 2017-10-03
Packaged: 2019-01-08 14:54:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12256599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MusicalCatharsis/pseuds/MusicalCatharsis
Summary: One shot compilation of the thoughts Luke and Penelope have when they look at each other.





	1. Penelope: Oh. My. God

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine.
> 
> Please note that these stories may/may not all take place consecutively. There will be alternating chapters, so we started with Penelope and next will be Luke. If you have any thoughts that you would like for me to write a chapter around please let me know. Please indicate if the thought should be Penelope's or Luke's when submitting it. I'll try to get to them all. Lastly, please enjoy!

Everything stopped moving the moment she saw him. Better yet, she stopped moving, and the world collided to a halt around her. No, that's not right either. She stopped moving and everything else around her kept going, and in all of her years on this earth, she had never stopped in her tracks at the sight of a man before. That is until today, until now, until him.

_Oh. My. God._

This thought continuously ran through her mind as she stared openly at him.

_Oh, God, I can't tear my eyes away from him. Stop it, Penelope, stop it._

But right now, right in this very second, she was a train wreck. She kept looking at him, looking at the side of his face, and wondering how exactly it would feel to run her lips across his chin. She wondered if his beard would leave red lines across her face, across her body. She shuddered, but it wasn't cold in the office and she realized that she was shuddering at the thought of this stranger's hands on her body.

"Garcia!" She blinks several times, tearing her eyes away from the man whose name she still didn't know, and focuses on JJ who had been yelling at her across the bullpen. She still can't move, and she wonders where this heat on the back of her neck was coming from. She moves forward slowly, taking small steps and shaking the fuzziness from her head.

"Yeah Jayje, what's up?" She asks, finally reaching the desk.

"You were staring and blocking traffic." The slender blonde says in explanation before turning back to her paperwork.

Penelope turns back around to locate the person she was looking at and locks eyes with the most beautiful shade of honey she has ever come across and her legs grow weak. She sinks into the nearest chair with a small groan that elicits laughter from JJ. Penelope turns back to her co-worker with her mouth open, gaping like a fish.

"Who…who is that?" Penelope inquires softly, or so she thought because this time she didn't notice that the bullpen had literally stopped moving around her. It wasn't just her this time that had stopped, and suddenly she felt more than one set of eyes on her. She turned a shade of red that she wasn't sure could be achieved by a single human being, but here she was.

"Nothing to see here people," JJ announces, waving her arms to dismiss the eyes. She turns back to Penelope, reaching out to place a hand on her arm. "That is Luke Alvez. He's helping out with the escaped Serial Killers." She says quickly before turning back to her paperwork. "He's on loan from the Fugitive Task Force." She continues. Penelope sits there nodding her head, clutching her tablet to her chest and doing everything in her power to stop herself from turning back to look at him.

"Good morning, Ladies." The gruff voice washes over her like a bucket of cold water and she stiffens in the seat near her co-worker.

_What is he doing over here? Why is he talking to me? To us?_

**_Oh. My. God._ **

Penelope turns in the chair, not trusting her voice, and locks eyes with those of Luke _oh my god_ Alvez.

"He…Hello." She says, extending a hand out to him. "I'm Penelope Garcia, and you are?" She continues, not able to tear her eyes away from him. She's straightened her back, choosing instead to face this man with confidence, even if she has to fake it. And fake it she will in order to not look like a fool around this man.

"Alvez, Luke rather." He says laughing, clasping his own strong hand in her own. She could feel the callouses that had grown there, and she shivered at the thought of what those hands would feel like on her body. She shakes her head to clear these thoughts from her mind. But the image is still there as she looks into Luke's eyes, and she wonders what his muscles would feel like under her delicate fingers. _Not like computer keys, that's for sure._

"Okay, newbie, if you're sticking around we have a case." She replies, standing up on shaky legs at the feeling his hands on her own had given her. _Breath, Penelope, breathe._ She chastises herself. Stumbling as she walks away, she doesn't turn around to look at him, but she can feel his eyes on her. She rushes into the conference room, slamming the door closed behind her and leans up against it, taking a deep breath.

"Not again, Penelope." She says aloud, before moving from the door and walking to the table realizing that she doesn't have the files that she needs in order to brief the team.

"Looking for these?" Someone asked from behind her and she stiffens at the sound of his voice again. She doesn't look up at him but continues to stare at the table. She's nodding her head.

"Yes, can you place them on the table?" He chuckles at her.

"Sure." He says and she can hear him place the folders on the table. "So does everyone get pet names from you?" He asks. She nods her head.

"I hereby knight you as Newbie." She says, still not turning around to look at him. She can feel that he's taken a step closer and visibly relaxes when she hears the voices of the other members of the team walking into the room. She finally turns around and sees him again, and his eyes are so expressive that she can't manage to tear herself away from looking at him.

"It was nice to meet you, Newbie, but we've got work to do." She says turning back to the TV and bringing up the newest case. "Take a seat."

"Yeah." He says, sitting down nodding his head at you. "Right."

_Oh. My. God._ She takes a deep breath, not being able to remember the last time she's ever left a man speechless.


	2. Luke: The Chase

If there is one thing that Luke Alvez is used to it's the chase, but this is definitely one area in his life he was not used to running after something...or better yet someone. She was everything that he could have ever dreamed of rolling into one very good looking package if he could say so himself. Which he did, often, to almost anyone in his family that would listen. He would talk about her smile and the way it would light up the room, any room, this room if she were to walk in here right now. He talked about her hair, and would often describe the strands as golden rays of sunshine on a cloudy morning. He talked about her wardrobe, the bold prints and colors, and the low cut tops, the heels and the short skirts that drove him absolutely wild. He talked about the tinkling way her voice floated through his ears, taking a hold of his brain and turning him into exactly what he never wanted to be known as: a mouth breather.

If there is another thing that Luke Alvez is used to it's attention from women, and he doesn't mention this lightly. He knows that he is a good looking man, and to be honest, he's used that to his advantage enough times in his life to be comfortable enough to admit it aloud. But this type of attention, from this woman, it drove him crazy. He would constantly complain on the phone to his sister, who would chuckle and tell him that he was being stupid, and for him to just ask her out already. Because she's a woman, and she knows how women think, that's why. But he tells her that she doesn't understand this woman, because this woman is complex, she's an enigma, wrapped in one of Reid's crossword puzzles, located at the bottom of the ocean in a locked box, one that can only be opened by solving a riddle.

If there is one thing that Luke Alvez knows it's that he's completely head over heels for the beautiful blonde who is currently telling him off in her office. And he hasn't heard a single thing that she said because his eyes are currently focused on the curve of her upper lip which is painted in a very attractive shade of red. He's watching the way her tongue moves while she is yelling at him, her finger poking him in the chest repeatedly, and if he thinks hard enough he believes she is telling him off because he replaced Derek on her speed dial. That's not his fault, he surmises, as he watches her throw her hands up into the air and shake her head at him.

"Are you even listening to me?" she says, placing her hands on her hips once again, and he notices the many rings that adorn her slender fingers. He's now staring at her hips and the way they curve into an hourglass shape, before they dip down to thick thighs which are partially exposed and he swallows, hard. He's staring at her legs now, the way the skin glistens in the glow of the computer monitors and he wonders exactly what it would feel like to run his fingers gently up her calf as her legs are wrapping themselves around his waist. His eyes slowly ascend her body, shamelessly taking in her body before he tunes back into the conversation, and he nods at her.

"Chica, I'm sorry I replaced Derek on your speed dial." he says, turning away from her so as to calm his racing body before he continues the conversation. He's willing himself to control his breathing but he finds his eyes darting over to look at the backside of her calf as she stomps over to her computer monitor, showing him that she placed him on speed dial one. He groans as she leans over dragging the phone closer to the edge of the desk. "Please stop moving." he says aloud causing her to stop in her tracks, she sits down in her chair, turning to look at him crossing her legs in front of him. She's smoothing out the skirt of her dress and it doesn't go unnoticed that she has in fact hiked it up on her thighs a bit, showing off a bit more of her legs.

"Does this bother you, Alvez?" she asks you innocently enough, her tongue coming out to dart across her lips, and you turn back around facing the door and reaching over to roll the sleeves of your shirt up on your arms. You can hear the tinkling laughter floating across the air towards you and you stiffen.

"This." he begins, choking out the word before he turns around to find her standing closely behind him. If there was one thing Luke Alvez was sick of doing it was chasing this woman around the damn country and he decided in that moment that it was time to do something about the nagging feelings he'd been experiencing all year. "The only thing that bothers me is that it's unprofessional of me to touch you in this building." he grinds out between gritted teeth trying to put more distance between the two of them. She's grinning at him now those red lips spread wide across her face and he's sure that his heart will beat out of his chest at any moment given the severity in which it was beating.

"And what if I told you that this was all a ploy in order to get you alone in my office, where there are no cameras, due to the sensitive nature of the cases I have to investigate." she says to you, walking over to her office door and clicking the lock into place. "And what if I proceeded to tell you that there are only two people who know the code to get into this office at any given time, and one of them is on vacation at this current moment." She continues, walking over to her monitors and flicking them off and turning the camera around to face the wall.

"I'd say that I'm sick of chasing after you, woman." he says, reaching out to pull her closer to him. He laughs as he picks her up, his fingers trailing down her calf as she wraps her legs around his waist. Before he could think twice about it he's pinned her to the door of her office and has attacked her neck with his lips, biting her softly in the crook, and moaning as she lets out a shriek that sends a shock through his entire body. He's already planning out how he was going to go about making this more than a one time thing but everything in his body was telling him that this woman was going to make him chase her. He found that he couldn't give a damn how long it would take him, but he would make her his wife.

If this was one thing that Luke Alvez enjoyed in his life, slightly less than having sex with a beautiful lady up against her office wall, was the chase.


	3. Penelope: Bring Me - Part 1

She can't count how many time she's watched Derek Morgan walk away from her, but she knows it's in the hundreds, and she knows that it doesn't hurt any less every time he does it. The pain that grips her heart as she watches her Chocolate Thunder leave her once again hurts in a different way this time, knowing that he was going home to his wife and your god child. When his back turns the corner she heaves a deep sigh, racing back to her office on heels that she will never rethink no matter how much they hurt her. Sliding into her chair she pulls the black and white cat that had been gifted to her a few weeks ago by Luke into her hands, giving the cat a gentle squeeze, before setting it back down onto the desk in front of her.

If there's another person who she has watched leave her countless times, it's Luke Alvez, and his leaving is a stark contrast to that of Derek Morgan. While Derek has always been about telling her that she is beautiful and he loves her, Luke has been the silent one, who she has caught staring at her on several occasions. The memory of the way his eyes felt as they roamed over her body when he thought she didn't notice continues to send shivers up her spine, even when he's not around. Unfortunately, at this moment in time, he's off finishing the job that Derek walked out on. He's out in danger, hunting down Peter fucking Lewis, and her heart was racing at the thought of all of her babies, out there in harm's way.

There's a rage within her, one that she couldn't place until now, and it's the revelation that Derek walked out when there were thirteen serial killers on the lose. She finds herself questioning his decision, but in the end decides that she can't fault him for wanting to be with his son every day, no longer living out of a too worn duffle bag. She can't fault him for making a life for himself behind a red door in Chicago, closer to his family, bettering his life and the life of his child.

No, she thinks that she's the most upset because he left her for the final time, and the fact that her calls went unanswered for a year, her texts were left on read for a year, she was cast aside for a year. But the fact that he showed his face back in the BAU as a civilian and she had run to him, falling back into the same stride that they had always had, that's probably what had upset her the most. Because if she was being completely honest with herself, she missed him. And in that moment she wasn't sure which him she was referring to.

Life is truly complicated when she loves two men, she supposed.

The thought evades her for a while as she blinks her office back into focus, hands poised over her keyboard, waiting for a call that will never come. As the minutes tick past she finds herself thinking back to the day that she realized she had other feelings for SSA Luke Alvez, the ones besides disdain and general loathing. It wasn't until he changed his course on that road and helped her step off of the sidewalk in Florida that she realized the tingling feeling she had when she was around him was due to her undeniable attraction to the man, and not out of hatred for his sheer presence. It wasn't until later that night when the team had retired back to the hotel room that she gathered her courage and walked quietly down the hallway to the room she knew he was located in. It wasn't until she had her hand poised under the number of his door that she began to question her motives, but still she knocked.

What she didn't expect was for him to open the door with wet skin, a towel wrapped loosely around his hips, his right hand bringing another towel to his hair drying the excess water from the tendrils. She didn't expect to be face to face with the object of her desire, and she honestly didn't expect to let out an audible moan at the very sight of him, but she did. He smiled at her, and she recognized that she knew that lopsided grin, it was a grin that he gave her almost every time he saw her. His hand reached out into the hallway, clasping her fingers within his hand, and gently pulled her into the hotel room, swinging the door shut behind her. Penelope also didn't expect for his hands to trap her against the back of the door, his wet hair falling into his eyes as he looks down at her. But the one thing that Penelope didn't expect at all was when his mouth closed over hers without any words being spoken between the two of them.

She didn't miss the way her breath hitched as he gripped her around the middle, his hands sliding down to grip her cheeks before hefting her up the door, wrapping her legs around his waist in one fluid moment. His lips never stopped working on her own, his tongue dipping in and out of her mouth, his breathe hot against her face. Her hands found their way to the sides of his face, running her nails through his beard, tugging gently at the ends. A growl rumbled through his throat as she moves her lips down his jawline and wraps around his Adam's apple, licking the flesh there before she moves on down his neck.

Still, no words were spoken between them as he moves his right forearm under her to support her weight against the door as his left hand comes up to frame her face, gripping her jaw and tilting her head back. His teeth drag across her bottom lip sucking in the red painted line into his own mouth, eliciting a loud drawn out moan from her. His grip on her jaw lessens, trailing his fingers down her neck before dipping into her bathrobe and ghosting his fingers over her breasts. Her hands are still clenched in his hand, her hips grinding against the bottom of his torso, hoping for more friction.

He doesn't disappoint as his left hand trails further down her body before he slides his hands up her inner thigh, rolling his thumb around the bundle of nerves that causes her to scream out into his mouth. He chuckles into the kiss, nipping again at her bottom lip, before he abandons her clit and slides one long finger into her center, curling the appendage as he entered her slowly. She tears her lips away from his dropping her head back against the door, leaving her neck open for his assault. He doesn't waste any time as he bites the flesh that connects her neck and shoulder before trailing his tongue deeper into her bathrobe, biting hard on the exposed expanse of flesh that makes up her cleavage. He slides a second finger into her, causing her to cry out in pleasure, her hands flying to the tie cinching the silk bathrobe to her frame.

She doesn't feel ashamed of her size as the bathrobe falls to the floor near the door as he pulls her closer to his chest, his fingers vacating her body as he carefully steps over the discarded towel on his way to the bed on the other side of the room. His hands wind their way under the flimsy tank top she donned and she realizes that her panties are still covering her heated center, her face flooding with color at the thought of keeping them on during what she is sure is to come. Her back hits the center of the bed and cool air immediately rushes over her body as his hands are gripping her hips, hooking his fingers into her panties and yanking them down her legs. The sound of ripping fabric doesn't evade her but she doesn't pay it any attention as she feels his tongue assaulting her clit, his teeth dragging down the sensitive bud, as his fingers resume their previous ministrations. She covers her mouth with her hands, shoving the base of them into her open mouth as his left hand slides under her shirt, pinching her nipple between his thumb and forefinger. She came with a muffled shout, her legs clenching around his head. He pulls his fingers out of her, blowing gently onto her before placing a gentle kiss to the swollen flesh.

* * *

Penelope turns her attention back to the computer screens in her office, her breathing coming in short huffs as she taps her blue painted finger nails against the space bar. It had been several months since she went out on the case with the team, but the thought of his body on hers still caused a wetness to rush between her legs and goosebumps to erupt onto her skin. She checks her phone for any calls she may have missed while she was traveling down memory lane, and when she sees nothing, she checks the clock realizing that both Derek and the team had only been gone for fifteen minutes. Scratch's location was at least an hour away. She closes her eyes, transporting herself back to that hotel room.

* * *

His thick lips dragged up her body, pushing her shirt up as he went, and she moans into the quiet of the room when his lips closed around her right nipple, his hand rolling the left between his fingers that were still wet from her orgasm. She could feel his arousal against her thigh and she tentatively reached down to grasp him in her hands, giving him a squeeze and he hisses around her breasts. A smile breaking out onto her face as she runs her hand down to the base of his cock, slowly bring it back up his shaft, rolling her fingers over the head feeling the bead of pre cum that had collected there. She leads the tip of him down to her opening, bending her right leg in order to lift herself up off of the mattress. He slides into her in one swift motion, closing his mouth over hers to stifle the moan that rips through her throat. He rips his lips from hers, kissing down her neck, placing bites onto her exposed skin around the shirt she never gave him the chance to remove.

Her hips were bucking of their own accord, lifting up to meet his with each thrust, her moans echoing loudly into the room. His fingers were trailing her body leaving a trail of exposed nerve endings as he touches her in places that she couldn't recreate. His fingers have found her clit again, and he pinches it roughly between his fingers, biting down on her neck at the same time, suckling on the flesh between his teeth. She comes undone with a loud scream, her walls fluttering around his cock, causing him to groan in pleasure. He doesn't stop his assault on her body instead, pumping himself into her faster, the sound of his balls slapping her ass with each thrust. He's raised up on his knees now, lifting her ass up onto his left forearm, reaching down between the both of them to rub her clit with two of his fingers. Her hands gripped his forearms, nails digging into the skin, as she bores herself down onto him with each thrust.

He's moving inside of her sporadically now, all pretenses of rhythm forgotten after her second orgasm, and when he feels her clenching around his cock for the third time he lets himself go with a loud grunt, thrusting into her in quick succession. She can feel him inside of her, emptying his balls into her, and she groans as he lowers himself onto her. His hands smooth over her hair, his lips coming down to cover hers in a slow kiss. She can feel him growing softer inside of her before he eventually slides out of her, his cock leaving a trail of fluid across her thigh as he moves to the side of her on the bed. He pulls her closer to him, kissing her hairline, his fingers trailing down her arms. She's asleep before he can say anything, and he finds that he doesn't care about getting caught by the team in the morning. In fact, he's sure that they all heard what happened in this room.

Her phone ringing jars her out of the trance she was currently sitting in and so when she answer the call it is not with her usual one liners, but with a breathy _Garcia._ Her blood runs cold at the sounds on the other end of the line, screaming, yelling…

"Don't do it, Penny." she hears before what can only be assumed as a fist colliding with something flesh covered. Her breathing starts to come in short gasps when she hears his voice.

"If you ever want to see your team again, _Penny,_ you will bring me, Derek Morgan."


	4. Luke: Always Yours

"Luke, do you really think that you should be here?" Spencer asks bluntly, coming up behind you. You tense when his hand lands on your shoulder and you have to take a deep breath to remind yourself that you're no longer in combat, that he's not an insurgent, that he's a friend, that you're safe. You shake your head staring at the long line of pews that stand in the room in front of you. Shrugging your shoulders you turn to look at the younger man, pulling your phone out of your pocket to check it in order to avoid eye contact with him.

"No," you respond, locking your phone and stuffing it back in your pocket with movements that were too stiff, too rushed, too rough. You finally lock eyes with Spencer and the pity that is shining in them causes you to harden, a smile spreading across your face. You shake your head and your hand reaches up to tug at the tie you had donned for the occasion. Loosening the material you turn back to the church and sigh heavily. "But I can't not be here, can I?"

You're standing alone with your guilt, you realize.

You're the cause of this, you realize.

You're the reason she's getting married to another man, you realize.

"Not when I'm the reason she met this guy," you say to him, lifting your arm to check the time on your watch. You realize that nobody else has seen you yet, and you wonder if you can quietly slip out of the doors, never to be seen or heard from again. "Where is everyone else?" you ask him, turning your attention on Spencer again. He's fidgeting with his hands now and you know that's his tell from the years of working together. Your eyes steel over when he finally looks at you.

"They sent me up here to make sure you were okay," he replies and you chuckle, tugging on the bottom of your suit jacket. You realize that the only reason you wanted to be in a church and dressed this way was if you were marrying her, but that's not likely to happen now, is it? You scold yourself for ever walking away from her, for ever leaving her that damn letter, for coming back too late. You continuously scold yourself on a daily basis.

"Yeah, I'm fine." you reply to him. "Why wouldn't I be fine?" you realize that your voice has taken on a higher pitch than normal, and so you cough to cover that you are in fact, not fine. You are the furthest thing from fine and you realize that this is what she would say to you in the days leading up to your departure. You never meant to hurt her, and when you joined the BAU on temporary assignment, you never thought you'd get called back to active duty. You thought that part of your life was over. You walk deeper into the church now, scanning for the best seat, and realize that you're alone again.

You clearly remember the note you left on the kitchen island you shared in your tiny apartment. You told her everything you couldn't say to her face. You told her how much you loved her, how much she meant to you, how much you wished things were different. You wrote down how you wanted to fall deeper in love with her, how you wanted to marry her, how you wanted to give her everything that the others in her life never gave her. But you were a realist and you knew that you had survived two tours already, and it wasn't likely that you were going to survive a third. So you told her that you didn't want her to wait around for you. You told her that it was over, and even though you loved her from the bottom of your heart, you couldn't focus on anything else but your job.

 _What a load of bullshit._ You tell yourself as you slide into a pew at the very back of the church, hoping that she wouldn't see you at all, but knowing that she would. She raced after you that day, finding you among the other families saying goodbye before you boarded the bus that would take you to the plane. You remember her voice screaming out your name over the crowd of people and though you wanted to turn around to talk to her you couldn't, and so you continued walking forward, making your way to the back of the bus and sitting down. You remember how your eyes connected with hers, and you remember your heart shattering at the sight of the tears in her eyes. There was a pain in your chest then that hasn't left you in the four years that you have been gone. You remember the tears that crawled down your own face at the time and you hoped that they conveyed everything the letter had said.

_Always yours, Luke._

You watch as Emily walks down the aisle arms linked with Spencer. You watch as JJ walks down the aisle arms linked with who you have come to realize is John, the groom's brother. And then comes another reason your heart has broken into a thousand pieces. A little girl with darkened skin, expressive brown eyes, and long brown hair. She turns and looks at you, smiling a wide toothy grin, and waves.

"Hi daddy!" before she races off down the aisle. You huff out a breath, lifting one corner of your mouth in a small smile and wave back at the daughter you also left behind that day. A daughter that you would constantly receive pictures of, and a daughter that you got to know through the video calls that happened once a week while your daughter was with your mother. You will be forever thankful that she didn't keep Sofia from you or your family, when other women probably would have. And there's a part of you that wouldn't have blamed her if she did. You watch her little brown curls bounce as she twirled at the end of the aisle, finally remembering that she was supposed to toss the pedals on the ground and not keep them. A giggle burst from her naturally red lips as she tossed several handfuls into the air before she turned to stand with JJ and Emily.

You're not breathing, you realize, when the Bridal Chorus begins to play and the church stands as a collective around you. Your legs which have gotten you through so many things in life fail you at this moment as she comes into your view. She's wearing a light pink dress with her hair pulled back into a loose pony tail. She's got her a pair of rhinestone cat ears perched on top of her head, and her nails are painted ten different colors. She's attached a netting to the cat ears that covers the left side of her face, the side with the scar she's not too happy about. You remember the feel of her face under your fingertips. You remember how it felt to kiss her lips, to steal her breath away from her, leaving her chest heaving once you pull away from each other.

She falters slightly when her eyes land on yours, and you realize then that you've been crying, but you angrily brush away the tears and nod your head at her. You notice then that she has started trembling but she exhales a deep breath and continues on down the aisle, breaking your heart once again. But what is it that you expected? Did you expect her to wait around for you? Did you expect her to be willing to take you back after you left her with a _Dear John_ letter before you took off for years? Did you expect everything to be okay?

You shake your head as the rest of the church sits down around you, and you're clutching your hands together staring down at them. Your forearms are resting on your knees and your body is shaking you realize. You can't stop the tears from falling now, and you decide that you don't want to especially when the Reverend begins the ceremony. You reach up again to angrily wipe at your eyes, pushing your fingertips roughly into the sockets, hoping to blind yourself so that you don't have to see this. But that doesn't turn your ears off. You stand, quickly ducking out of the pew, and racing out the back door.

You realize that you're not strong enough to watch her get married to someone else.

You realize that you can't stomach the thought of someone else loving her for the rest of her life.

Reaching into your pocket you grab your keys, jingling them in your shaking hands as you make your way to your car. Breathing heavily you slide behind the wheel, resting your head on your forearms, before ripping the tie from around your throat. You let your composure slip from you as the tie lands on the seat where she used to sit, a guttural roar ripping from your throat as you launch an attack on the steering wheel. Flipping down your visor you stare at the picture of her hugging Sofia, her blonde curls cascading around her face and a red painted lips stretched into a wide smile. You reach up, tugging the picture from the elastic band that secures it and press it to your chest.

 _I love you._ You think to yourself. _I'll always be yours, Penelope._

But she'll never be yours again, you realize, not after today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if you can be labeled for active duty and be in the FBI but it works for this story. This is the chapter that gave birth to Almost Always.


	5. Penelope: Bring Me - Interlude

She's sitting at his desk in the bullpen, waiting for him and the other's to return. She's shaking her legs as she sits staring at his empty desk, her fingers tapping an endless melody against the hard surface. Her mind is moving quickly, flickering through the memories she shares with each member of the team, so focused on the memories that she doesn't hear the soft ding of the elevator behind her. She shoots up from his chair when she hears Derek's voice behind her, and she lets out a squeal before turning around to look at the member's of the team filing out of the elevator. Her chest is heaving as she watches them walk into the bullpen, her eyes frantically searching for him. Her eyes filter to Derek, questions littering her face as she does.

"Where is he?" she asks, her voice raspy as it comes out. She's searching the faces of those around her, watching as they all look in other directions, none of them looking directly at her. Derek coughs, his hands coming up to run over his smooth head. He reaches out to her, leading Penelope back to Luke's chair, guiding her to sit back down. Her legs become weakened, as she lets her hands come into contact with his desk, sinking slowly to a seated position. "Derek, please," she whispers up to him, tears gathering in her eyes clouding her vision. "Is he..." she cuts herself off, placing her head on her arms on his desk. She's trembling as the tears slide onto her face, and she doesn't bother to hide the raw emotion that is taking over her at the fact of losing him.

"I'm right here, Chica," he says. She snaps her head up to make sure it's actually him that she is looking at. She stands quickly from the chair, sending it rolling back into the desk behind her. She doesn't care about the fact that nobody on the team knew about their growing relationship, for all they saw was their teasing banter and flirting. Penelope lifts her hands to her mouth, sucking in a shaky breath before running towards him, crushing her body into his. She doesn't care that she has almost toppled both herself and him to the floor with the force of her collision. Her fingers reach up to brush against his face, trailing through his hair, and grasping her arms around his neck, pulling his lips to hers. When she lets him pull away from her, Luke rests his forehead against hers.

"Don't you ever do that again," she says, slapping his chest. "Don't you ever leave me again." He smiles at her then, pressing a kiss to her forehead. His eyes have closed and he's taken a sharp inhale of breath before he steps back from her. Penelope didn't realize that her heart is racing, her body is on fire, her legs are weak as she keeps one hand on his body, making sure to keep in contact with him at all times. She didn't realize that she absolutely loved him until now, but now that she admitted it to herself, she couldn't ignore the knowledge.

"I can't promise that," he says, gripping her hands in his own. "But I can promise that I will always try to come home to you."


	6. Luke: Say It Again

"Say it again." you demand when the elevator doors close around the both of you. You're gripping your backpack tighter in your right hand, a nervous laughter slipping from between your lips, but you're staring at the side of her face, as she's refusing to look you in the eye. She's still clutching the stress cat you bought her in her left hand so you reach down to give it a gentle squeeze, the squeak settling between the pair of you in the elevator. You let your hand linger against hers as you ride down from the sixth floor. "Please," you whisper, never taking your eyes off of her.

"Luke." she replies as the doors open to the underground garage, and you smile bigger than you did the first time she said it. You continue to walk in step with her, not wanting to end your short time together, and so you reach out to place your hand on her forearm. She stops in her tracks, the clicking of her heels dies around you, and you wonder for a moment exactly what you were going to say next. Now that you have her attention, now that she's face to face with you, you realize that you don't have a plan. You don't have a single thought going through your mind except for the fact that you want to kiss her red lipstick right off of her lips. You want to kiss her so thoroughly that she's left breathless. You want to kiss her so roughly that she weakens in your arms causing you to lift her up and place her against the side of your SUV.

"Say it again," you demand, mentally slapping your forehead. Smooth, you reprimand yourself but you can't stop the large smile that spreads wider across your face at the thought of your name rolling off of her tongue. You vow to make her say it every day as many times a day as you can. You want her to say your name when she wakes up in the morning. You want her to say your name as you make love to her on every surface you can come across. You want her to say your name as you kiss her goodnight, tossing your arm around her waist and pulling her closer to you. You realize that you want her to say your name. She chuckles and shakes her head.

"Is this the moment you want to be in...Luke?" she says, squeezing the cat and hiking her purse further up on her arm in order to put her badge away and to find her keys. You realize that you don't want to watch her drive away from you and so when she says your name again, and you realize that it sounds so inviting on this Friday evening, that you reach out to grip her chin, tilting her face so that you can make eye contact with her. She sucks in a ragged breath, causing her chest to heave and it takes every ounce of restraint that you have in you to not gaze down at her breasts.

"Yes, Penelope, this is exactly the moment I want to be in," you reply before you look down at her lips, your tongue darting out to moisten your own, and you thought you imagined it, but when she shivers again and emits a small squeak you know that she wants to be in this moment too. You could lower your head and kiss her breathless like you so desperately want to, but you don't. You reach up with your thumb, running the digit over her bottom lip, prying it apart from her top lip. She sucks in another breath as you continue to stare at her.

"Is this the moment you want to be in?" you ask her, voice barely above a whisper and you chuckle when you realize that she can't speak. She nods her head slowly, taking a tentative step towards you. You pause for another moment, dropping your backpack to the ground near your backdoor and reach up to place both of your hands on the sides of her face.

"Are you sure?" you ask her, your face merely an inch from her own, and when she nods again you place your lips directly against hers. You don't apply pressure and you can feel her tense under your hands. "Say it again," you demand. "Say my name and I'll kiss you." you feel your name cross her lips before you hear it. The 'u' causing her to press her lips against yours and you close your eyes with a groan. As soon as the 'e' reaches you, you've pulled her into you, your lips dancing against hers in the soft lighting that the FBI tossed into the parking garage. You've maneuvered the both of you so that she is leaning up against your SUV and you've almost tripped over your backpack in your hasty attempt to get some leverage on her. You remove one hand from her face, placing it on the tinted window above her head as you continue to kiss her, her hands have run up your chest, snaked around your neck, and are currently tugging at your hair. You've sucked her bottom lip into your mouth, biting the red stained line and pulling back from the kiss gently to catch your breath. You pause for a few seconds opening your eyes to take in the pink flush of her cheeks, her eyelashes dark black against the cream of her skin, her lips swollen, smudged, and ready to continue being kissed.

"I made a lasagna," you whisper, leaning back in to press your lips gently against hers, wanting to carry on the assault in the comfort of your home. She chuckles, her eyes remaining closed as her hands run down your chest, her fingers blindly reaching out for yours. She interlopes her fingers with yours, pulling them up to rest between your chests.

"As long as you keep kissing me, I do not care about lasagna." she says, leaning up to kiss you again. You pull yourself back from her, smiling at the groan she emits when you're no longer covering your body with hers, and as you bend down to grab your backpack you take in the sight of the skin of her legs. When you right yourself you hold out your right hand, gesturing to her that she should go first as you walk her to the passenger door. On your way back you toss your bag into the backseat and rub your face as you jog around the car in order to slide into the driver's seat. You look over at her as she's smiling down at the cat you should have bought her months ago, that you would have bought her months ago if you knew it would lead to this.

"Say it again." you demand as you throw the car into reverse, pulling out of the parking spot and proceeding out of the garage. She looks over at you and you can feel her smiling at the side of your face. You nod your head at her, reaching out to turn the music down as you check your mirrors and behind you as you prepare to merge onto the highway. You reach out and grab her left hand, lacing your fingers together and pulling it to your lips, pressing a gentle kiss to the back of her hand.

"Is this how it's always going to be, Luke?" she asks, and you smile, turning for a second to look at her. You nod turning your attention back to the road. You know exactly what you want to do to this woman. You know that you would do anything to make her smile at you the way she is smiling right now. You know that you would do anything to get her to say your name over and over again. You know that you would do anything to make her happy, and that thought settles over your brain like a warm blanket on a winter night. You would do anything for her, you realize, including making vegetarian lasagna every week in case something like this ended up happening naturally.

"This and a lot of time spent with Roxy." you reply.


	7. Penelope: I'm Drunk

"I'm gonna call him!" she says, lifting the frozen margarita into the air, sloshing the drink over the lip of the glass, a giggle escaping her lips at the exclamation. Pulling the drink back to her lips, she takes a hearty gulp before slamming the glass back onto the table, fishing her phone from the inside of her bra. Her fingers dial his number from memory, having dialed it several times over the course of the past two years, and proceeded to place the phone to her ear with a roughness that was never there before.

"Alvez...I'm drunk," she says into the phone, lifting her drink back to her lips and taking another sip. "I went out with JJ and Emily. I was supposed to call you hours ago..." she continues, letting her words slur, alerting the man on the other line as to exactly how intoxicated she truly was. "And as my new best friend...you have to come get me, please." The man on the other end of the phone rolls over in his bed, glaring at the red numbers on his alarm clock, where it reads past one in the morning.

"I'm at...hold on," she says, turning to the patron who is seated next to her, and on the other end of the line he can hear _hello, kind sir, but what establishment are we currently in._ A chuckle escaping his lips as he swings his legs over the side of the bed, whistling for Roxy to join him as he gets dressed waiting for Penelope to come back on the line to tell him where she is. "Oh! I forgot you were there, I am at...shit, I forgot. I'm just going to send you the address. Okay? Bye."

She's waiting outside with her coat wrapped around her when he pulls up, jumping out of the truck with his keys in his hands, Roxy sitting on the front seat. She smiles when he comes into her view, throwing her arms open to hug him in greeting, placing a kiss to his lips, both of her hands coming up to cup his face. "My hero!" she exclaims, before turning to walk to the car, Luke following behind her closely, helping her into the cab of the truck before shutting the door behind her, his hands coming up to touch his lips.

She's staring out the window by the time he finally gets into the truck and she stills as he reaches over her and buckles her seatbelt. Penelope shoots her hands out to grip his arm, pulling him closer to her as she sniffs at his hair, rubbing her nose into the strands. He lets out a soft chuckle before leaning her back into the chair and turning the truck on.

"Why did he leave?" she asks, her voice barely reaching his ears over the rumble of the engine.

"I don't know, Garcia." he responds, as he guides the car towards her house.

"Not my house," she mutters, her eyes never leaving the road. "It reminds me too much of him." She looks over at the other person in the car, reaching out to trace her fingers down his face. "I should never have met him," she whispers, looking in the backseat to Roxy who is sleeping peacefully. "All he did was break my heart." Luke nods his head, looking back at the road and turning the truck to head for his house. She reaches out to grasp his hand in hers before closing her eyes and humming a soft song that he's sure he's heard before.

"You'll never leave me will you?" she asks as she places her head on the pillow he was sleeping on only an hour previous, wrapping herself in the blanket, as he shut off the light and walked to the door.

"Any man who leaves you is stupid, Penelope, do you take me for stupid?" he asks, once he gets to the door, his shoulders dropping when he hears her sniffling into the darkness of his bedroom. "I'll never leave you," he continues before closing the door behind him.


	8. Luke: What Happened to Coffee?

_It's really not the best time for this…_ Luke reminds himself as he proceeds to cook breakfast for the presumably hungover Penelope Garcia. _Her boyfriend just left her, and you're sitting here making her eggs, and contemplating asking her out._

He gently leans his head to each side, letting his muscles strain and a loud crack to sound around him. Roxy was happily chewing at her breakfast to the left of him and his eyes kept darting to the closed bedroom door, wondering if she was awake yet. During the past three years of being on the team, he had to sit back and watch her continue her on and off relationship with Sam. He had to sit back and tamper his feelings every time he was actually _the one_ she came to when she was crying. Luke Alvez, who wasn't used to vying for a woman's attention at all in his life, had to witness the destruction this Sam Cooper did to _his_ Penelope Garcia.

Luke watched as he came back this final time with a ring, obtaining a visitors badge from security, and proposed to her in front of her office. And from the sidelines, Luke had to admit that the man had flair and a knack for theatrics with the way he brandished the ring and asked for her _hand_ in marriage. And when Luke saw her face, he knew in that moment that he had lost, and so he filed these feelings away. Everything was going well for about a year, until two months ago when Penelope had shown up late for work with red-rimmed eyes, and in a pair of yoga pants, she was trying to pass off as dress pants. He was by her side in an instant, listening to the fight she and Sam had, and answering her questions of doubt.

_Sam has been gone for about two months,_ Luke tells himself. The sentence he kept uttering in order to talk himself into actually asking her out, even if it is for coffee as _friends_. He had almost done something about his feelings last night when Penelope wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. It would've been easy to kiss her back, to lift her into his arms and pin her against the side of his truck, to take her home and lay beside her in his bed, but he didn't. Instead creeping in a few minutes ago to leave a bottle of water and some pills for a headache she is bound to have when she wakes up. This routine only slightly different than the last few weeks…

"That smells wonderful." She announces as she walks into the kitchen and he shakes his head back to the present to look at the woman leaning against his bedroom doorframe. She had gone into his closet and pulled a t-shirt off of the shelf and from this position he can see that she remained in just her undergarments under the soft cotton of the shirt. Turning back to the stove in order to finish cooking the eggs, Luke has to talk himself out of a number of inappropriate things that could all lead him to where he wants to be. Silently, he plates up the food and slides it in front of her at the breakfast bar that separates his kitchen from the living room. "Thank you." She replies, picking up her fork and taking a small bite, biting slowly.

_Just ask her._ Luke thinks to himself as he leans against the kitchen sink with his bare feet crossed at the ankle. His dark sweatpants being the only thing keeping him warm in the chilly autumn temperatures. From this new position, he can see the mess of blankets that his couch currently is, as he spent the previous night tossing and turning, his thoughts traveling to the woman who was sleeping in his bed. She never failed to leave behind a floral scent, it clung to his bedding, only intensifying with each time she rested her head on his pillows.

"How did you sleep?" Luke asks her, bring the coffee cup to his mouth again by the handle, his eyes never leaving her face. She places another bite of food in her mouth, bigger this time before she looks up at him.

"No nightmares," she answers reaching out her hand for his cup of coffee which he gladly passes over to her, allowing himself to brush his fingers against hers for a moment. _Just say something, Luke, anything._ He yells at himself, urging him to move forward with the plan for today. "I don't understand what's wrong with me, Luke, why would he just leave?" She asks, taking another small sip of his coffee, her lips wrapped around the rim of the cup and it's hard to not imagine her lips wrapped around something else.

"There is nothing wrong with you, Garcia," Luke says, reaching across the breakfast bar in order to tuck a wild piece of hair behind her left ear. "Any guy would be lucky to have you." He finishes, looking down to her left hand and noticing that the ring was finally gone, giving himself a little more courage.

"Sam was the only one after Kevin." She whispers with her eyes downcast and it takes Luke a minute to control his breathing, calculating his next move as all he wants to do is shout at her that he, Luke Alvez, would love nothing more than to drag her into his bed and have his way with her. But still, he remains silent, letting his hand fall down to the tabletop, positioning it close to her hand. "I never wanted to get married, not even when he asked, but I'm thirty-six Luke, it's time for me to do something with my life." Luke finds himself nodding, realizing that he too would be turning thirty-six in a few short days, his grandmother never fails to remind him of the children or wife he still doesn't have. "I want kids, Luke, I don't have to be married but I want kids, and I thought I was finally getting that..." She trails off, her sentence dangling between the two of them like a lifeline and all Luke really needed to do was pick it up, tug on the string just a big.

"Sam isn't the only one for you," he finally says ignoring the thoughts that are running through his mind, ignoring the warning signs that jumping head first into what he had just decided to offer was a stupid, stupid idea. But still, he opens his mouth, because when it comes to Penelope Grace Garcia, Luke doesn't think clearly. "I...it's been three years, Garcia," he says reaching out to cover her hand with his own. She pauses in her movements, the bite of veggie scramble teetering precariously on the edge of the fork as she looks at him. "If you want to have kids, let's have kids."

_What happened to coffee, Luke?_


	9. Penelope: Say It Again - Continued

There's no better feeling than waking up on your own, she surmises as she stretches out on the bed, her feet inching closer to the cooler edge of the mattress and curling her toes to grip the rumpled sheets. She keeps her eyes closed, trying unsuccessfully to grip onto the last vestiges of sleep. Penelope Garcia enjoys lounging around in her bed, especially after a long case. She loves slipping between the sheets, surrounded by her own pillows and the occasional stuffed animal, as she lets her mind drift away from the horrors that she sees on a daily basis. It's not often that Penelope Garcia opens her eyes and blindly reaches out for her glasses in a room she doesn't recognize. And by not often, she means never. But the memories of the previous night begin to filter back to her and she smiles, her mouth stretching widely across her face. She slowly lifts herself into a sitting position, aching in places she found were long forgotten and malnourished. Pulling the thin sheet away from her body she looks down realizing that she's nude under the blue fabric. The fingers of her right hand come up to press against her lips, pushing slightly at the swollen area and she lifts her eyes to the mirror situated on top of the bureau, smiling at the sight of her mangled hair and smeared mascara. The sound of a shower turning off and the tinkling of curtain rings being dragged across a metal pole alert her to the fact that she's not alone. The sound also effectively reminds her that the ache between her legs was still so deliciously sinful that she wouldn't mind staying in bed all day with the man behind the partially closed door. She doesn't move, afraid that if she steps out of the comfort of the bed that this will all fade away. Afraid that yesterday was just a dream, afraid that he didn't kiss her so tenderly rendering her breathless. She's afraid that this too, is merely an illusion for sure, as she doesn't ever get the guy.

Her eyes are drawn to him when he exits the bathroom, a black towel wrapped around his waist, and a metal chain laying against his chest. Her heart begins to beat wildly in her chest, thumping a beat against her ribcage. She watched as he brought the second towel to the top of his head, rubbing the excess water from the strands, and she realizes that she's never seen his hair disheveled before. Her eyes remain trained on him, thinking wildly as to what lies underneath the towel, and before she realizes it she is biting her bottom lip. Her teeth pressing down lightly trapping a moan between her lips, as she continues to take in the defined lines of his body. Her thoughts traveling back to the previous night when that body was pressed up against hers, thrusting into her with a slow yet determined precision. She felt the slow burn of desire spark inside of her, as he turned to his closet bending at the knee to pull something from the deepest recess of the space, careful to remain silent as he thought she was still asleep.

"Newbie?" She says, causing the man to turn his head to her from his position in the closet, a lazy grin stretching across his face. He turns back to the closet and pulls a pair of shorts out of a bag and slips them on under the towel. He walks over to the bed, peeling the towel from around his waist and tosses it in the general vicinity of the laundry basket. Once he reaches her he leans down to press a quick kiss on her forehead, her eyes sliding shut with a flutter of eyelashes under the red rimmed glasses. The man's dog tags resting gently against her chin. The cool metal a welcome sensation against her heated skin.

"Good morning, beautiful," he whispers with his lips still pressed firmly against the skin of her forehead. Not trusting herself to speak, Penelope nods her head, her fingers reaching out to tentatively touch the muscles that are so clearly defined on his stomach. Her nails dragging slowly along the trail of dark brown hair that dips sensually into the waistband of the black shorts. "Don't you want breakfast?" He asks, laughing quietly as she begins to trail her fingers lower, wanting desperately to remain immersed in this alternate reality forever.

"Don't need to eat when I'm dreaming," she mutters, dipping her hand into shorts and closing her fingers gently around him with a low groan and a parting of legs. She lifts her head, the metal leaving her chin and captures his lips with her own. "It's a very good dream..." She continues when he leans her back into the pillows, his body settling between her legs, the sheet and his shorts the only things separating them. She can feel his dog tags settle between her breasts now, the cool metal still a sharp contrast to the fire burning through her body.

"This isn't a dream." The man replies, dipping his head in order to bite at the soft spot behind her ear, his teeth dragging down her skin until he reaches her shoulder where he expertly places a sloppy kiss. She moans, her hand still working between them as he groans into her neck. Turning her head she places a kiss against his arms, letting her eyes take in the contours of the defined muscles, and the olive complexion of his skin against her own as he holds himself still above her. "I'll never tire of hearing you say my name." Her eyes open, focusing on the mans face in front of her and she smiles again, a blush creeping into her cheeks as she talks herself into saying the filthy thought that crossed her mind.

"My mouth will be too busy to say your name for a while..." she finally promises, pulling her hand from his shorts she begins to push them over the curve of his backside before he growls and pushes them down in a hasty agreement rolling onto his back in the process. His eyes are lust filled as they stare at her, while she abandons the sheet and kneels on the bed before him. "Are you ready, Luke?" She asks, her mouth open, her breath hot against the tip of his straining member. He gulps and she watches as his throat bobs up and then back down before he nods.

"Say it again." He demands before he lets out a low moan, his hands flying to her head in order to grip her hair as she covers him with her mouth, the sound of his name reverberating around him.


End file.
